Boys in my Head

Curtis is a lawyer in Houston and Sam is running his own company in Beijing.  Two successful smart young men.  Because we all live in different places, our conversations are usually carried out electronically.  Both my sons are wise and I value their input, which is why, when Sam tells me I need to work on my branding, I’m flummoxed.  My what?  I type this message to him:

Isn’t branding a trendy term for PR?  I guess my idea for branding is that I want people to associate my name with quality enjoyable writing. 

Curtis chimes in, advising that I need to be more specific.  There are many writers who produce quality enjoyable fiction.  I should be aiming for something that makes me stand out.  He gives examples:  Subaru is the durable outdoorsy brand; Wholefoods is organic; Starbucks means good coffee everywhere, anytime.  It’s cause for introspection.  What makes my fiction unique?  How do I build a reputation when I can’t define what I do or what I stand for? 

Then Sam tells me that I need to target a specific group with my blog.

What does that even mean? I write.  My upcoming novel’s about a recovering cocaine addict who takes up urban exploration as a hobby.  Also, it’s funny.  Should I target cocaine-addicted urbexers with a keen sense of humor?  Also, how does one go about targeting? 

He answers without directly answering.  What I need to do, I’m told, is stop producing blah posts about my day-to-day activities and my road trips, and share my views about something controversial, something with substance, like politics or education.  “Or hey,” he tells me, “you’re a writer, so blog about creativity.”  As if there aren’t already too many writers writing about writing. 

At this point Curtis informs me that the TV show, The Gilmore Girls, is doing a reboot on Netflix, and I simply lose focus on irrelevant fluff like branding and targeting.  A day or two later, after my excitement winds down to a manageable level, I get back to it.  Controversial, Sam said.  Substantial.  Politics, education, and writing.   Where’s the possibility for my beloved fiction in any of that?  I’m no scholar or statistician.  Like most people, I have opinions, though, sadly, no new ideas.  But hey, writing when I have nothing to say is what I do.  I can come up with a few paragraphs.   

Politics:  Though I’m pressed from all sides by conservative influences, I tend to think independently, giving allegiance to neither party.  I respect the office of president and never, in the last seven years, have I spoken disparagingly about President Obama, who is sincere in his intentions and efforts.  As a Christian, I believe my demeanor in this world should be the opposite of divisive, an instrument of unity; and the haters, accusers, and nay-sayers need to think about that.  On the other hand, I simply don’t want to look at Hillary Clinton for another four years.  She’s been on my TV screen for way too long.  And Bernie Sanders has some good ideas, but he’s too old and his foreign policy’s weak.  Please, please, Democrats, bring someone else to the table.  Having said that, what’s going on with the Republicans?  A disrespectful narcissistic misogynist who’s too proud and stubborn to compromise—yeah, that’s who I want building relationships with foreign nations. 

Education:  Maintaining a vibrant and successful education system is the most relevant and vital pursuit of an advanced society.  Here in the US parents undermine teachers; teachers criticize parents while expecting their support; and the students’ loyalties are muddled.  I’ve known lazy teachers and brilliant parents.  I’ve known inspiring teachers and self-absorbed parents.  In the beginning there was a teacher in a schoolhouse.  Later came big buildings, maintenance, insurance, credit unions, and pensions.  Then school systems went into the business of feeding children and providing extended day care; in effect, parenting.  The horrifying truth is that out of a lovely dream, a massive sucking beast emerged.  What’s the solution?  I haven’t one, but the approach must be one of constant advancement.  Make changes.  When old changes stop working, make new changes.  Never quit moving forward.  Only through relentless feeding will the beast evolve. 

Writing:  I wrote yesterday morning from five a.m. to seven a.m.  I wrote this morning from five a.m. to seven a.m.  I will write tomorrow from five a.m to seven a.m.  Writers write. 

So.  Branding—did pounding out this blog clarify what I want people’s first thought to be when they see my name on a book jacket?  Absolutely not. 

Targeting—there’s nothing in this posting that would appeal to any particular group, unless that group is composed of women, aged fifty-something, with their adult sons’ voices in their heads. 

This posting didn't really call for a picture, so I put this one of me in.  Do I look flummoxed?  

RV Park

An unknown entity is constructing an RV park up 401, about a mile and a half from our house.  David and I often walk this road and, for the most part, enjoy the views and creature-sightings.  But the place where the RV park is being built must be the most ugly piece of land in the Hill Country.  As there are many extremely attractive RV sites in the area, with clear water, live oaks, and hiking trails, the placement makes no sense.  This project is miles from shops or gentle shadowy hills or any of the lakes.  We’ve been keeping an eye on its progress, and what we see is a big square cut out of the hard dirt, offering nothing but cactus and rocks. 

So, not thrilled about this addition to our calm neighborhood, and realizing that all decisions were finalized long before we moved here, I make a trip to the Burnet County Land Office to find out who owns the land and how this development gained sanction.  Here’s the story as told to me by a heavy woman on the other side of the counter: 

“Herb’s been in trouble all his life, from the time he was a child, all the way to right now.”  She shakes her head in sad disapproval.  “He’s been in and out of jail several times for minor offences, until, finally, the police said next time he got arrested for doing something stupid, they were going to throw the book at him.”

“That’s not good,” I say.  “But what does this have to do with anything?”

“I’m telling you.  And then he got drunk and peed in the fountain, which was right across the street from the police station, and that demonstrates what sort of a lack of brains we’re talking about.  And they threw the book at him, just like they said they would.  So instead of being incarcerated for a couple of weeks, they put him away for a couple of months.  And though I don’t believe in throwing people in jail for being stupid, I’d be the first to agree that something had to be done.”

“Still not getting the connection.” 

“So Herb’s mom, Carol, a nice woman, but troubled, she goes to her brother, Mike—he’s the one with the money in the family—and asks him please to find work for Herb.  This makes Mike none too happy.  He knows Carol’s had a hard time, and she’s never come to him for help, but here she is, expecting him to come up with employment so easy an imbecile can do it.”

“There’re lots of jobs imbeciles can do.”  I hear the panic in my voice.  I see where this is going, and I’m not delighted.

“And it’s best if Herb’s away from town, where he can’t get into trouble.”

“But Main Street’s only seven minutes away from 401.”  I know; I’ve timed it. 

“Mike already owned the land, and the outlay is minimal—just needs some landscaping, plumbing hook-ups, and electricity.”

“And this Herb, who has no sense and drinks too much and pees in public, is going to manage this RV park around the corner from our gated community?”

“Ah, now, not to worry.  Herb’s harmless.  Besides, it’s not going to draw many people when there are so many nicer places around.”

“So an unpopular RV park, built on the cheap, is going in because someone’s nephew peed in a fountain?”

“That’s about right.”

I thank her and take my leave. 

Later, when David and I are on the back porch drinking our evening wine, I tell him what the lady told me. 

“And this guy’s name is Herb?” David asks.  “Are you making this up?”

"Why would I do that?" 

The sign was there months before they got started on the work.  

The hook-ups

Lanscaping

Joe of Arcadia

Am I the sort of person who flies into JFK, takes a business meeting at an airport hotel, then flies out again?  I sure am. 

I’m also the kind of person who, when rushing around an unfamiliar apartment in Myrtle Beach, catches her toe on a chair and, when she gets through hopping around and screaming, realizes that her little toe is sticking out sideways. 

The meeting pertains to the upcoming publication of my novel, Old Buildings in North Texas.  I have a list of things Joe and I might discuss, but in reality I have no idea how this is going to go.  Will we talk about cover art?  Will he explain how deep into the work an editor delves?  Will he ask about my process?  I’d enjoy the implication that I have one. 

“You should make a list of topics and questions,” David says as we’re on the way to the airport. 

“You think?”  I’m being sarcastic.  Does he think I’d go to this much effort without appropriate introspection? 

“I mean an actual list, so you can tick things off.”  He lives to tick things off.

“Schedule for publication?”  I ask.  “Publicity?  I think I can remember a few things without writing them down.  Also, he’s done this before.  He’ll know better than I will what to talk about.”

I thank him for the ride to the airport, kiss him good-bye, and limp off to catch my plane.  My toe is broken, the whole quadrant of my foot swollen and blue, and that’s why, when ordinarily I’d be zipping through airports, impatient with all the sluggish meanderers that block my way, today I’m one of the sluggish ones, careful with every step.  Myrtle Beach to Charlotte, to JFK.

 I make my way to the Crowne Plaza via train and shuttle.  The hotel parking lot is bustling, the lobby full of Australians.  Joe arrives a few minutes after me.  He’s young.  I bet he’s often told that he looks like Peter Pan.  (See picture below.)  We seek the restaurant and take a corner booth.    

Joe and I do indeed discuss cover art.  He favors a graphic cover, which is fine with me, the main object being to sell the book.  He offers a history of Arcadia and describes his colleagues and the working of the company.  It sounds like he admires his co-workers, and that they love what they do; and I like to hear this because I love what I do, too, and together we’ll all be joyfully productive.  

As far as publicity is concerned, while there’s no definite plan, there seems to be a proven method.  I might be asked to write a few interesting articles that will bear my name, followed by “author of Old Buildings in North Texas.”  There’ll probably be book signings.  I tell him that a dream of mine is to read my work at the London Book Fair.  His trapped sideways glance and the way he carries the conversation forward leads me to believe that this is an unrealistic aspiration.  But then he says maybe the Edinburgh Book Fair, and I’m okay with that.  Edinburgh’s one of my favorite places and I have fond memories of their book fair.

We discuss personal aspects:  Joe was in Cambridge for five years, was considering going for his PhD, when he realized that by doing so he’d be choosing the academic life, and he wasn’t certain that was where he wanted to go.  He moved to London, got a job with a literary agency, which led to his job at Arcadia—and what I get out of this is that Joe must be really good at what he does, because my understanding is that, from any angle, the publishing industry is competitive. 

My personal tale to share is that I have a broken toe.  He seems horrified that I simply wrapped it, which is what I’m pretty sure a doctor would do.  It’s a toe. 

I’ve been writing for thirty years and Joe wonders why I’ve not been published before.  The answer is that I could never get an agent to view my work, much less represent it.  When Helen, my current agent, entered the picture, I was reconciled to my novels going no further than the flash drive.  Having this opportunity spring up, unexpected and unsought, is one of the most wonderful things that’s ever happened to me.  Married to a man who never says no, mother of two wise and righteous sons—but no success of my own.  Until now.  I’m thrilled and proud and grateful. 

I’m given a publication date:  June 2.  At this time, also, Old Buildings in North Texas will be available electronically, but only on Amazon UK, which means everywhere because Amazon UK is worldwide.

JFK to DC to Myrtle Beach; I arrive at 9:19, picked up by David, who, it seems, had a nice day of golf. 

Good picture, Joe.  

The Big Apple.  Several of these colorful apples in Terminal 8.  Are they new?  I like 'em.

Back to Myrtle Beach.  Tomorrow we will spend the day on the beach.  

Marble Falls to Nashville

We leave Marble Falls on Thursday morning and drive through to Little Rock with only a stop for gas and a lunch break at a Cracker Barrel, which is, as always, delicious.  Did you know that it’s actually possible to get a lean lunch at the Cracker Barrel?  I order a bowl of vegetable soup while the man at the next table orders two entrees for himself, explaining to the waitress that he’s eating more than he ordinarily would because he fasted this morning on account of getting a blood test.  I imagine the test is going to come back with a higher-than-healthy glucose count, and that he will be told that he should no longer consume seven thousand calories in a single meal.

The drive is free of hassles, except that David and I both remark many times on the number of eighteen-wheelers (lorries, for my British friends) on the highway.  Though we’re in a truck, the massive beasts make us feel vulnerable.  At least twice we see them almost pull into the left lane when it’s already occupied.  But, as we’ve just started a holiday and are trying to be upbeat, we conclude that this massive transport of goods from one coast to the other is surely an indication of a thriving economy.  The drive takes longer than we thought it would and by the time we pull into a Holiday Inn Express in Little Rock, we’re snapping at each other.  David is tight-lipped and his hands have developed a tremor, which is what happens when he needs to eat. 

“What’re you in the mood for?” he asks.  What he means is, what do I want to eat.  Food is what he wants, but it’s the furthest thing from my mind. 

“Just let me sit quietly for a minute,” I tell him.  “Just half a glass of wine, and I’ll be ready to go.”

I uncork the wine we brought with us.  I sip a bit while he fidgets.  I dread getting into the truck again, but it’s what we must do if we’re to eat.  We drive a few blocks, find a restaurant, and both feel better after a mediocre meal.

The next day we head toward Nashville, making a stop in Memphis to visit Graceland because Elvis was an important cultural influence, which means he’s worth knowing about.  Standing in the roped-off line, we’re surrounded by impersonators and women with Elvis’s face tattooed on their arms.  Graceland is their Mecca.  This is the time and place that my husband of over thirty years decides to tell me he wasn’t a fan.

“How could you not like Elvis?” I ask, aghast. 

“He just didn’t do anything for me.  His voice was annoying and the hip-wiggling thing was stupid.”

“If anyone hears the words coming out of your mouth, you’re going to be asked to leave.  Someone might do you bodily harm.”  I step away, putting a distance between us because I’m fearful that his enemies will become mine. 

We’re handed iPads and headsets, transferred to the house in a shuttle, and allowed to go at our own pace.  The tour itself is fun and informative, stirring childhood memories.  First the house, done up in the fashion of the era, though I find the angles harsh and the orange, olive, and gold color schemes difficult to tolerate.  My favorite interior touch is the pair of stained glass peacocks that frame the baby grand.  There’s an outbuilding where his studio and offices were—also, unexpectedly, an indoor shooting range.  Another building holds a collection of his concert outfits.  A third building is dedicated to his career, displaying clips and comments during his rise to stardom, his gold records, and movie posters and costumes.

I’m pretty sure I saw every one of Elvis’s movies.  And that’s because those shallow romances were just the sort of thing to appeal to a carefree seven-year-old girl.  Of course David wasn’t a fan.  Why would those movies appeal to an eleven-year-old whose father had just died?  David had four brothers and sisters, there was very little money, and his mother couldn’t be around because she had to work.  I doubt they spent a lot of time swooning over Elvis.

After we leave Graceland we make our way to Nashville, where we stay in a beautiful B&B, Linden Manor.  Stuffed with antiques and located in a trendy section of town, I highly recommend it to anyone visiting the area.  The hostess/chef greets us and shows us to our room.  The next morning she serves us a breakfast that's so inspired that we believe ourselves to be in the presence of a cooking god.   

Two tickets to Graceland.  

There they are, the peacocks. 

Graceland.